Losing a family member is one of the hardest things I think one can go through. You want your family to have ever lasting lives. Selfishly we want you in this world forever. And today we are losing you. A week ago I would not have thought we would have been here. A week ago I would not have thought it was time already. But here we are. And today we sat with you.
Today we were here before the sun peeked through the sky.
Today we held your hand, rubbed your feet, kissed your face and we cried.
Today we lost your physical presence.
It was hard.
It took our breath away knowing you had taken your last one.
I watched my Mamma lose the love of her life and her best friend. She did not leave your side all day. She rubbed your face and held your hand. She lost her love. But I also watched her be the strongest person for her family.
I watched my sweet and precious Daddy lose his Daddy. It breaks my soul to see my Dad sad. He is my hero, and heroes should not have to feel this pain. I could see his unreadiness and his sad, but also his clarity for what we knew was coming.
I watched my beautiful Aunt stand by your side caring for you like she has done from the second you got sick, holding your hand and knowing how much her life would be altered once her Dad was gone. She loves you with her whole heart and took care of you better than anyone could have!
I stared at my sister as we rubbed the same part of our sternum, as we both do when we are anxious and stressed (which we laugh about), and she refused to go home because she wanted to be by your side and by our family’s side. My sister loves our family with her all. Jana is my calm and not only for my family, but selfishly, I was so happy she was able to be there.
I watched family and friends come in and out of your room all week wanting you to feel their love.
I know you felt it.
We sat with you and told you how much we loved you.
And then you took your last breath. There was no gasp, no struggle and no pain. Almost as if it didn’t happen. It was peaceful.
I hugged my family tight! My sister and I squeezed my Daddy, and I didn’t want to let him go.
This day was hard.
And we know you are in a better place. You were the most Godly man I have known.
You shared your faith, and you were proud of it.
You made sure we remembered the meaning of holidays.
You blessed all of our family meals. Jana and I would mouth your prayer with you. Dad would tell on us sometimes, and we would giggle.
I know that you are in Heaven, and you are no longer in pain and having all the pecan pie you want.
I know this year is going to be a hard year. A lot of first without you.
We will be okay though. And in our true family fashion, we will put a smile on even when it is hard.
I hope you can feel our love from where you are and know you are missed. We will take care of Mamma. I hope you can feel that too.
And I pray that God has his hand on my family as we journey the rest of our lives without you here. You are a big missing piece.
We love you so much Pappa! Thank you for blessing me with this wonderful family! And we will see you again one day!
Lots of love!!!!!!!